Visceral Laments

Obscure Me

No-one came.
But I heard their footfall.
Their whisper. Their breath.
They were
giving me gifts.
Though I didn’t exist,
They made me to be.
“Don’t go away”
I begged them, I begged them

No-one came.
And I felt me falling.
And so?..

I stepped outside
But followed
I am nonviable.
Non-breathing lungs,
Non-beating heart.
Obscure Me!

I’m grateful, my dear.
Your gifts help me
In art
Of self-destruction
Of self-absorption

I accepted all that they
Have whispered in my ear
Their words were flowing out
Of my lungs, of my heart

“Don’t go away”
I begged them, I begged them

No-one came.

No-one came.
But I heard their footfall.
Their whisper. Their breath.
They were
giving me gifts.
Though I didn’t exist,
They made me to be.

I stepped outside
But followed
I am nonviable.
Non-breathing lungs,
Non-beating heart.
Obscure Me!

Inside our graves. The Silent Whisper

This is the night
This is the night
Of the terror, of the horror..

In the ground, the ground, the ground, the ground
Lurking, trembling.
Hear the sound, the sound, the sound, the sound
Chewing, gobbling.
Will the flesh of innocent and sinners
be converted into scraps?

and angels that live underneath our graves
are singing the hymns to our despair

et reges terrae, et principes, et tribuni, et divites, et fortes,
et omnis servus, et liber absconderunt se in speluncis, et in
petris montium : et dicunt montibus, et petris : Cadite super
nos, et abscondite nos a facie sedentis super thronum, et
ab ira Agni : quoniam venit dies magnus irae ipsorum : et
quis poterit stare?

Are we the lambs, the lambs, the lambs, the lambs?
Or are we the horses that will carry those 4 riders?
The White, the red, the black & pale
Pestilence, War, Famine, and Death

Let’s Seal up our mouths
As we should stay silent.
Let’s Seal up our consciousness
As we should be brave.
Let’s sit quietly under the ground..

The perverted consciousness

The primary nature
of the perverted consciousness.
So nebulously
It looks,
And straightforwardly
It lies.

The perverted consciousness
Moaning about the past,
About purity.
When it hasn’t yet been born,
When it hasn’t yet been monstrous
Among the purity.

Like the armless monster
With the crippled trunk
Wriggling upon the stone floor
Of a stone cube,
That is indeed
The perverted consciousness.

Transparent arms it has,
With them embracing itself.
The perverted consciousness
Is lustful for caring death.

The primary nature
of the perverted consciousness.
So verisimilar
Suffers,
So unpretentious
It seems.
Makes going blind,
makes going mistrustful.
Repulsive and Nebulous,
It misses
For what it has
Never had.

The perverted consciousness
Moaning about the past,
About purity.
When it hasn’t yet been born,
When it hasn’t yet been monstrous
Among the purity.

Transparent arms it has,
With them embracing itself.
The perverted consciousness
Is lustful for caring death.

Dogs Soul Carnival

Dogs Soul Carnival
The vanishing circle of the Unnamed..

And for them there’s no afterlife,
Where the angels-people would love them.
Only deaf cooled-down reality
Ruthlessly creeps inside.

No sublunary roads for them
That could make their eyes shine.
With sorrow their eyes look
From under the gray eyelids.

Wisdom tries to whisper them
Peacefully to forget
Alien needless wisdom:
Sometimes those angels seem to love them.

With warm feathers and soft wings,
With wheels, and venom, and cudgels..
Silent groan, silly visions:
The dog dreams are poor..

The songs of the tired throats
Have forever poisoned the days,
And the angels-people see in each dark crack:
The forgotten being’s dreams are floating one by one.
Strange kind dreams
Without sense and without...
Offense..

The forgotten being’s dreams
are floating one by one.
Terrible long dreams
of the numb and unwanted ones.
The songs of the tired throats..
Terrible long dreams..

Dogs Soul Carnival
The vanishing circle of the Unnamed.
Without tombs, without farewell songs
Creatures get into Nowhere.

He thought he was god

Drops. Last drops of this rain.
Of all the rains on earth.
Flakes. First flakes will appear
As soon as everything calms down.

The crack of doom? No, there was not.
There was just falling snow.
Quietly and peacefully
All perished. Nothing more.

The one, the Immortal is left.
The last one among the grand decay,
Against the grand decay.
All had some doubts about his birth.
But now there’s no-one to doubt,
So He can feel free

Long dusk, long dusk
Before the longest night,
Long, long, colorless dusk
Devouring his body of no shape

From one place to another
Having empty chest
He wanders and wanders
From south to west.
From east to north
There is no-one to cry
About the injustice
Of those heaven above.
No-one to believe and disbelieve,
No-one to inspire him with life,
Without men there is no God -
Mad immortal bastard!

The dark, quiet world is left
Only for his majestic figure of mist,
For his insane new start.
Smashing the old covered with snow,
As there’s no-one to stop his hand
And he can feel free.

It’s me, who’s telling the story,
And I’m invisible yet
Now I am just the witness of what is going on.
But soon I’ll let him know:
He’s not alone
And it’s my turn to reign.

Light that deceived me

I see in your eyes the light, the light.
And I wanna get all that merciful light into mine for all times.
I want get in your sweet and clean hand-made paradise.
And I beg you to give me the shelter in your primordial paradise.
And I believe that you’ll be so merciful to me.
I’m begging to much, I’m begging to much…
That primordial chaos will get into mine!

I thought that paradise I have seen
Would be the place I’ll easily reach,
Hold by your light, with the help of deliverance.
My asylum is unreachable,
As chaotic as my dreams about it,
It appears that light in your eyes lied.

Oh, did I believe in mercy for me?
I was begging too much, I was begging TOO much
That primordial chaos doesn't care a damn about us

Then what have I seen in your eyes?
That lightened, once lightened my mind..

I wait
Time waits
Come, come!..
Long-awaited
I wait!

Finally They came

Attack me, my monsters,
throw me upon the earth,
And trample down my body
Tear it to shreds.

I’ll be a drowned doll for you,
Entangled in reeds and own thoughts,
Disembowel my rag belly,
Full of maggots and worms.

Over me – the graphite clouds,
Under me – the waters cold.
Suddenly, my monsters appear,
But it seems they don’t need sacrifice.

And time goes by, and places change,
But I still dream to be destroyed.
Attack me, my monsters,
I won’t resist, torn into shreds.
I’m only shreds
And in your hands – the trash.

How can I wait,
I’ve waited for years,
The sweetest pain.
I cherished a hope,
I brought up the Beast,
Now come to me!
And I can be
Whatever you’ve seen
In your underworld.
I’ll be a doll
Entangled in reeds,
Long waiting.

I’ll be a drowned doll for you,
In the reeds and own thoughts,
Disembowel my rag belly,
Full of maggots and worms.

Over me – the graphite clouds,
Under me – the waters cold.
Suddenly, my monsters appear,
But it seems they don’t need sacrifice.